Getting Away

So I am going out of town, by myself, for the first time in almost 5 months. I actually feel a little bit nervous. I'm taking a step out of the little cocoon I've built around myself. As I type this I remember the first trip my mom and I took after my dad passed away. At least I think it was our first trip. I believe that we headed to Houston to see my aunt and uncle. A familiar place, familiar people, and yet I vaguely remember mom saying how hard it was. How the instinct to turn around and go back home was very strong. I'll let you know if I have any issues.

Forgive me when I have several days without posts. I've been super grumpy of late and that means I don't have a whole lot to say. You know the 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. I assume this is a stage of my healing. Or, I just might be grumpy!

Have you been enjoying my daily quotes? I realize I need to keep track of what I post. What inspires me might tell a story about my state of mind.

Grey Skies

Sometimes I get stuck. Frozen. Paralyzed. It is miserable. I hate it. I don't like this place, this funk. I do well for days at a time and then...freeze. I'm overwhelmed with grief. Sometimes I'm stuck for a day, sometimes for several days. As Dr. Suess says, "Unslumping yourself is not easily done."

I've always had those days where you hit a slump or a snag. I know I'm one of those people that are affected by the weather. Dark grey skies for days on end bring a dark cloud over my psyche. These days they can be darker and heavier. One thing I struggle with is letting myself have that day. Not to beat myself up over it. It happens, it will happen again. Finding the skill to unslump myself is hit or miss. I'm working at it. Journaling helps. Sometimes it's a mere matter of getting the darkness out. Exercise helps. Not always the easiest thing to make yourself do when it is cold and grey outside. I pray for help and look for help from the Bible. Sometimes the darkness has a pretty tight hold though. What do you do?

I look forward to the beautiful summer days to come. I love blue skies and being in the pool. Come on spring and summer, I need you!


Per Request here is the Banana Bread Recipe I made last week.

2 c. sifted flour
1 tsp. soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. butter
1 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
3 large or 4 small ripe bananas, mashed*
optional: 1 c. chopped nuts

*I used 2 1/2 medium bananas and 1 super ripe pear

Sift together dry ingredients. Cream together butter and sugar; add eggs and vanilla and stir in bananas. Fold in dry ingredients and nuts. Place in greased 9x5x3 inch loaf pan or 8 inch square cake pan. Bake 325F for 55-60 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Quick trick: I hate sifting together the dry ingredients so I measure them all together and then run a whisk through them.

What I Watch

I've got to tell you about some of my new can't miss shows. First is Outsourced on NBC. My family loves this show but I've got to say it is so blatantly politically incorrect! Short synopsis: Novelty company outsources their customer service department to India. All-American boy travels to India to train employees, cultural differences entail. One of my favorite episodes was titled "Touched by an Anglo". It emphasised the cultural differences between the sexes. If you haven't caught this show definitely tune in Thursday's on NBC.

Next, Piers Morgan Tonight on CNN. I think I'm falling in love with this show. Piers took over the Larry King Live time slot. As I type this I'm watching his interview with Ricky Gervais, after his controversial Golden Globes. Now you may know Piers from America's Got Talent. I'm really enjoying his banter with the guests. If he continues in this vein I will continue to DVR this show.

As always, I still love the Ellen Degeneres Show. She is so funny. After so many years on tv she is keeping it fresh. I love it when she gets 'tickled' by one of her guests. Especially the kids, they can be so unpredictable. I also admire the fact that she uses her show to help others. Many times she has reached out to average people to help them in their life. I also like her penchant for scaring her guests. It is hilarious!

Which leads me to the new OWN - Oprah Winfrey Network. This new network has not grabbed me yet. I try to catch various shows and none of the current schedule does it for me. I especially dislike the Best of Trading Spaces. Those were interesting the first time around but to look back. YUCK! I am slightly intrigued by some of Cristina Ferrares Big Bowl of Love. It is a cooking show that I have pulled some recipes from. Now the family wasn't excited by my salmon loaf even though I liked it. I'll have patience with this new network as it unfolds. What's your opinion?

Note: If you haven't checked out my Just for Fun section to the right, you should. My niece and her hubby have moved from Kansas City to the D.C. area. Their new blog is Hatfields Far from Oz. If you have a blog you think I should check out let me know.

Yes it is almost 2 a.m. and I am wide awake. I'm resisting the urge to go get some coffee. Weird?

So one thing I meant to blabber about is bumper stickers. Have you noticed that some cars have bumper stickers all over? I find this fascinating because we don't do bumper stickers. We prefer vinyl clings that are easily removed. Interesting? Bumper stickers are pretty much there until they wear off or you work hard to get all the sticky off. They proclaim our interests: Get Outdoors!, Pack Rat, I'd rather be [fill in the blank]. They proclaim our political leanings: Palin/McCain 2008, Biden/Obama 2008, Fire them All, Help Wanted: Congressman or Senator. They may announce our love of local, i.e. Keep Fayetteville Funky, Support your local farmers market. Lots of stickers announce hobbies: Scuba diving, fishing, bicycling, or running. Tons of stickers give a shout out to your alma mater: K-State Wildcats, Fayetteville Bulldogs, Peabody Warriors, Arkansas Razorbacks, or KU Jayhawks. Or your favorite sports team: KC Chiefs, Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, New Orleans Saints. (So those are all football teams. I guess you can tell what sport is my favorite?) You can tell a lot about the person in the car by their bumper stickers. Like I mentioned before, we like to keep our cars sticker free if we can. We have a cling stating that we are K-state Alum. The only actual sticker I think we have on a vehicle is for Boys Can Smoke. Now don't get me wrong I think bumper stickers can be cool. I've wanted to adorn my car with a Save the Tatas sticker. I've also wanted to Keep Fayetteville Funky. Maybe I'm just not willing to commit. A sticker can be kind of permanent. Maybe I'm not ready to throw myself whole heartily into a cause. So for all of you out there that Would Rather Be Golfing, Saving the Whales, or just have a really great sense of humor (you know who you are 'if you can read this get off my ***!), I salute your commitment. You keep me entertained and wondering. Thanks!

Freezer Blues

Okay, so several weeks ago Devin threw down the gauntlet. He challenged me to cook out of the freezer. All 3 of our freezers were packed. We have lost track of what is even in them. I know that there is tons of steak. (We just got our big order from Tyson before the holidays.) Beyond that it was a mystery. I don't know if he challenged me to be more thrifty or so that I would clean out the big freezer just so he could defrost it! I have accepted the challenge and started yesterday. After tossing items that were beyond hope, I dug out a bunch of chicken that was starting to get freezer burnt. My new thing is to put all the meat in a roaster, pour some chicken broth over it along with onion, garlic, salt, pepper and water. I put the roaster in the oven and let it go at 350 F for several hours. The meat falls apart tender and juicy. And you get the yummiest homemade broth! I shredded the chicken and have begun to use it in different ways. Yesterday was chicken, broccoli, cheese and rice casserole. I found a great recipe that used whole grain rice and real cheese, no Velveeta or cheez whiz. The boys liked it. Yeah! I was smart and put enough for one meal in a casserole dish for the three of us and put the rest in another for the neighbor. I need to do that more often. I have older neighbors who don't cook, that love to get some home cooked meals. And to continue my good cooking day, I made some banana bread. I used a new recipe and added a very ripe pear to my mushed bananas. It was the best I've ever made. So now I'm done cooking for the week. Just kidding! Now I just need to figure out how to use up the rest of the shredded chicken. Thinking enchiladas tonight.

Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!

I feel like I'm constantly having to make a new to do list for myself. I don't seem to make any headway on my chores. They are like bunnies and they keep reproducing. I've decided that I need about 2 weeks to catch up with my life. Why 2 weeks? Because I need a goof off day for every day that I make any headway into the world of getting it together. You really do need to embrace chores based on your mood. Some days I'm much more with it and find organizing things a breeze. Other days I'm the biggest space cadet out there. Take this weekend for example. I had almost 48 hours that were all mine. No guys around. No one asking what's for lunch, supper, or breakfast. I had every intention on really cleaning the house. I managed to talk myself out of it. As I got to thinking about it I realized that wasn't the best use of my time. The minute my guys got home I'd get a stack of laundry and Scout stuff laying all over. So what did I do? Not much of anything. It was glorious! So... Well the downstairs is clean but there are still pockets that need some organizing attention. Eventually I will conquer the bedrooms. They aren't going anywhere. Now on top of those chores that I've got on my to do list we have the daily maintenance that comes with a family. Grocery store runs, vet visits, meal preparation, volunteer duties, Bible study; just to name a few. Sigh! Why do I think that I will ever catch up?! I just keep plodding along. One day at a time right?

Build 'em Up

For you Ginnie

This morning my friends say their formal goodbye to their beloved mother, grandmother and great-grandma. She was 97. Wow 97! I really didn't know her well. I met her a few times in the past 20 years. I always carried away an impression of energy. She was full of life and energy. If I remember correctly she was someone we should all strive to be. Her obituary says that she lived her life giving to others as a volunteer.

That leads me into the sermon from yesterday. The pastors began a series called Relationslips. No that wasn't a typo, relationslips. The first in a 7 part series is subtitled, Looking for the Positives! Build Up One Another. What little I know about the woman I've mentioned above, would led me to believe that she did just that. What impression do you leave behind? Do you leave those around you encouraged? I think I fail at this much more than I succeed. Lately I find myself as a bit of a sourpuss. I've been judging the glass half empty and not half full. Because of this I don't believe that I am encouraging those around me to be their best. In fact I know that I've spoken discouragement. I've spewed negativity. For that I'm truly sorry. We must be very careful of our words, of our actions. Do they really speak our heart? Do they further God's kingdom? Proverbs 18:7 says, "The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips." Psalm 50:19 says, "Your mouth is filled with wickedness, and your tongue is full of lies."

So how do I get back to the glass half full, build each other up, positive person? I plan on diving back into the Word. God provides me all the encouragement I need in the scriptures. If I feel positive and encouraged my cup will runneth over. When you are so filled with the love of God you spill it out. If flows around you and fills your home, your workplace, your neighborhood, etc. In Jeremiah 1:9 it says, "Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, 'Look, I have put my words in your mouth!'" Job 8:21 says, "He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."

Where are you? Do you build or tear down? Do you encourage or discourage?

I'm going to take a page out of the example set above by a simple woman who loved God and worked at pouring that love back into his people.

Start Slow, Taper Off From There

It is truly amazing what good rest will do for you. I've been grumpy, irritable, mad, frustrated, sad, mean, etc.; this past week. Yesterday I reached my peak of tension. I didn't know it though. I took a little nap in the morning. Spent the day catching up on laundry. Spun my wheels the rest of the day trying to figure out which way was up! Last night, finally I got some good sleep. I don't know why it was better than the rest of the week but it was. When my alarm went off this morning I got up with no problem. Yesterday I turned it off and would have gone back to sleep but my darling hubby made sure I got up. Wasn't that wonderful for him to remind me to get out of bed at the "butt crack of dawn"! Which leads me too...

I am not a morning person. I like sleep. A lot. If I don't get enough, watch out world! I thought as you got older you'd need less sleep. I can still sleep until noon some days like a teenager. Maybe it's because as adults we go sleep deprived for days and then we crash. Unlike a teenager, I don't like starting my day so late. Teenagers make up for the time they sleep in by staying up half the night. I fizzle out way to soon and am back in bed before midnight. Usually by ten! We have to tape the evening talk shows because we can't stay awake that long.

I've decided that I must be part cat. Just like the title says, "start slow, taper off from there."

(Note: As I was typing this, I got a text saying that my 6 a.m. exercise class was cancelled. So like a cat it's back to bed I go for just a few more zzzzzz's!)

Where Did My Day Go?

I am mentally and physically exhausted. I was up at 5:15 headed to 6 a.m. fresh start. After realizing how truly, horribly out of shape I am, it was back home to get Steven out the door. As he got in his jeep I'm coaching him on where to watch out for ice and right before he shuts his door I tell him, "Call your Dad if you get into an accident." After a quick shower and a cup of joe, I'm off to Panera for a breakfast meeting, that lasted until 11 a.m. We were having a great time! Returned some stuff to Bed Bath and Beyond, picked up more than I returned. Headed to Walgreens then the post office, called Devin to see if he wanted to meet for lunch. Had some yummy spicy Thai food with my hubby and headed home. Got some paperbackswap books ready to mail, wrote my penpal a letter, and headed back to the post office. Called my t-shirt contact to talk tees and ended up visiting for almost 3 hours. Drove home and collapsed. Only to have a discussion about what is for supper. Supper?! I'm ready for bed!

Snow Day/Cleaning Day

I really haven't disappeared. We had a busy weekend and today was a snow day so I took advantage of knocking off some of the items on my to do list. I've got a way to go before I can breathe easy.

About that snow day... Even at the hint of snow or ice, Northwest Arkansas shuts down. Granted we have lots of hills and since we don't get a lot of wicked weather we don't have the city crews to get everything ready. Steven still made it to his orthodontist appointment. At least he didn't have to miss any school for it! Who knows what the weather will bring overnight. We may get another snow day tomorrow. Hope not!

So I realized when I was half way through some of my cleaning, that I may be cleaning up inside the house, but I'm transferring a lot of it to the garage. Irony of that is I don't clean the garage. I'm just passing the buck, or junk. Better than having stuff sit in my dining room or the hall. I thought Steven was going to have a fit when I asked him to move some of the stuff. It was a snow day! Kids don't do anything resembling work on a snow day! What was I thinking?

Ever notice that there is always at least one item you forget to put away with the Christmas decorations? I've been walking by a Silent Night plaque for over a week without realizing that it was a Christmas decoration! In years past I've left out stockings, Christmas tins, or anything I put in an unusual location. Sigh!

So I hope to make great strides into getting my house in order by the end of next week. Then I can move on to the things that aren't necessities! It seems that sometimes all we accomplish is the maintenance and rarely get to the deep cleaning out.

My Favorite Escape

I mentioned the other day Healthy Mind + Healthy Body + Healthy Spirit. So one of the things I do to work on Mind + Body + Spirit is to get a massage at least once a month. I know it sounds horribly decadent and indulgent. But like Pilates, it's cheaper than therapy for me. Since I go regularly I use the same masseuse and take advantage of a loyalty program where I get a special rate. (Not to mention that I earn points that can be used for a free massage!) This helps so much in my ability to truly relax. I've learned to get the full benefit from the experience I should a) forgo my morning coffee, b) turn on my heated car seat, c) work on the relaxation of my mind. The hardest part is the relaxation of the mind. The music they play at La Vida greatly helps me. I am able to visualize my favorite thing on earth, sunshine and water. I usually choose one of the following three scenarios; laying by the beach with a lovely cocktail, or floating in the boat at Beaver Lake, or just floating in the backyard pool with the sun baking down on me. Today I discovered that it also helps to imagine your body becoming lighter. It helped me relax more than imagining melting into the table.

So, I realize that not everyone can be so indulgent. I do think you should consider treating yourself to a massage once or twice a year. But for those in between times, regularly choose a relaxing activity. Take a hot bath, go for a walk, lay down for a nap, or close your eyes and just visualize your favorite place. The important thing is to stop acknowledge your need to escape and address it in one of these positive ways.

The Art of the List

Are you a list maker? One of my sweet friends is an expert list maker. I envy her. I am not a natural at it. I go through phases where I make lists and others where I am flying by the seat of my pants.

This morning I found myself at a crossroads. I have so many little tasks that need to be done that I find myself overwhelmed. I've found that the only way to really get started is to start making lists. So this morning I sat down and started going through the house room by room, mentally not figuratively. As I pictured each room I listed the tasks that needed to be done. As I type this I even think of items I overlooked and need to add to my lists. I used to feel like I needed to complete the list all in one day. I've gotten easier on myself and now only pressure myself to get a few things done. If I get even one accomplished it is a good day. Seriously, if I didn't make the list I probably wouldn't get anything done! I'd be frozen, overwhelmed by life.

A few years ago after one of our moves, I found myself so overwhelmed that I was lucky if I got one box unpacked a day. I'd look at the sea of boxes and pick up a book and pretend it all didn't exist. Lucky for me I have a great spouse who figured out how to help me. He'd unpack the boxes and get them out of the room. So that all I had to deal with was individual items. I was much better at putting everything away when I could see it all out in the open. Putting away small items was much more do-able than attacking these big boxes!

What's on your to do list for 2011? Want to lose weight, eat right, excersize? Make a list of small goals. For the week or for the day even. It's too much to think you can change everything overnight. That's why so many of our resolutions get thrown away by the end of January if not sooner. One goal I have is to feed my guys better. I'll be making yet another list of meals for the week. I'll then make my grocery list. When I hear, "What's for supper?" I'll have an answer. Instead of my often used, "I haven't decided yet!"

I keep my list in a notebook. I can then refer back to the previous pages and see what needs to be done yet. When I just can't seem to light a fire under myself I'll look at it and pick a task that seems manageable.

What do you want to change about your life? Pick up a notebook and make your list. What can you do to reach your goal? To complete your tasks? To overcome your lethargy? Small goals. Small steps. A more fulfilled life.

New Year

A new year often means starting over. A chance to rewrite yourself. There is nothing I need to do more than rewrite myself. I'm not going to be foolish about this, I know it will be a slow process. We move forward in small, often minuscule steps. Ten steps forward, twelve back, but we do move forward. Sometimes we race ahead sometimes we barely press forward hopefully momentum will take over.

What to I want from the next year? I want to learn how to take care of myself again. To remember that to take care of myself also means energy to embrace life. I want to laugh, a lot and often. As my blog title says, prescription: laughter. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter makes you feel young. It releases those endorphins and lightens even the heaviest burden. I want to move, literally and figuratively. There is joy in an active body. When you use your muscles it helps to heal your mind. I want to spend more time with God. Healthy mind + Healthy body + Healthy spirit = Healthy Me!

So what can you expect from this blog. Well anything, it's kind of like a diary that I'm willing to share. Don't expect full exposure. We all have parts of ourselves that we don't fully expose. I will be as honest and transparent as possible. I believe that we learn from each other and there is a need for us to be open. Often we feel that we are the only ones feeling or reacting in a certain way. Well your not alone.

What you won't find. I don't plan on using this as an outlet for grief. Remember, the prescription is laughter. Grief may occasionally pop up because I am learning to move through it.

I hope you enjoy what I may have to say. If not, don't read my blog!