I's Misses Her

The day started fine. Normal even. I had a good week and a good weekend. The showers from last night lingered literally and figuratively. Something was taping at my conscience. Something I should remember or be conscience of. What was it? Think Jill think. What is lurking in the subconscious waiting to jump out at you. I go on about my day. I have Pilates and then stop at the grocery store. Still that nagging something tapping on my conscience self. I drop off the dry cleaning and as I turn my car back home. Whoosh! Overwhelming feelings of loss. The mantra, "I miss you! I miss you!", rushes into my conscience. Tears begin to pour down my face. I cry out loud, "God, I miss her! I miss Kristen! I miss her! I miss her!" The tears keep on coming. I fix myself some lunch and it won't go away. Finally I play the video from her service and just allow myself to go there. To that place of sorrow and grief so strong and powerful it threatens to drown me. Memories flow through my mind as I look at the pictures. I move on to the quotes. As I read them I feel as if she is here with me. As if she is telling me to really absorb the words and to listen to the music. I stand up and just let myself flow with the rhythm. The sun outside is now shining. There is light. The light washes away the dark clouds. The tears have washed away some of the pain. I miss you Kristen, I will always miss you. I thank God for the blessing of you. It truly is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

(It was a year ago that we found out that Kristen had relapsed and we headed back to Houston.)

O, Big Brother Where Art Thou?

I can go for days without anything inspiring me to write and then in just a couple sections of the newspaper find a million topics to comment on.

Let me start with Immigration. I can't say that I have strong feelings either way on this issue but in recent months I've seen good people face deportation. First is a University of Arkansas college student named Jonathan Chavez. This is a young man forced to pay for the sins of the father. As a child Mr. Chavez's family illegally immigrated to America. This young man has worked hard to get a good education, he has a 3.8 GPA at the UA. He also has been a strong Christian example in this area. It is a shame that he is facing deportation. We are going to send him back to a country that he has no memory of and no ties to. The second is a family that I have had the pleasure to come to know. They entered this country through the Corporate jungle. Through a now typical series of corporate reorganizations etc., they find themselves facing deportation. This family has made every legal inroad to become U.S. citizens. I have seen them humble themselves to not become a burden on society while they were between work. These are hard working law abiding citizens that in a matter of weeks will have to leave the country. It all makes me sad. Our country was built on the backs of immigrants. On the dreams and desires of hard working people who saw the land of opportunity. It frustrates me to see what happens to these people. But I don't have a better answer. I understand that good people get caught up in laws that were enacted to provide security for Americans. It is unfortunate that the immigration system is so backed up. I have no answers. Just frustration.

Now the other political topic I got caught up in. Fayetteville is considering banning smoking in bars. I am a non-smoker. I find smoking a disgusting habit but I'm also not your mom, doctor, or conscience. I understand that there are places that I may go that expose me to secondhand smoke. I take steps to control my exposure. My question for you to think on is this. Does government have a right to ban smoking in these public places? Is it for the greater good? Who are we protecting, patrons that have a choice where they go or workers who are exposed to second hand smoke because of the need for employment? Once again I have no answers. If it were up to me no one would smoke. Especially those I love, I want you around for a long time and like it or not smoking kills you. But, I acknowledge that it is not up to me. Is it up to "Big Brother"?

Stepping off of my soapbox now...

Cat Calls

Gotcha with that title didn't I? It's no secret that I am a cat person or maybe I should call myself a cat's person. Truly I think I'm only there to serve them; to feed them, provide a squishy lap, or to admire them. Even now as I type this Lulu is on my lap, tapping her tail in irritation, demanding the use of my lap. So what if the laptop was there first. Don't I have my priorities straight. Afterall, I've been gone all day so I must live with the consequences. Whenever I talk to my mom at least part of our conversation centers on Lulu, Claire or her cat Freddy. Mom's cat is a LARGE cat, not fat, but he's a big boy. The other day she said that Freddy kept getting on her lap putting his paws on her chest and meowing into her face. He kept doing this until she realized that his food bowl was empty. Mon Dieu! How did she allow this to happen, an empty bowl. For shame! I can relate, if Claire has an empty bowl she will jump on you and or meow and meow. Now Lulu would just lick you with her sandpaper tongue until you couldn't stand it. She's just much quieter. Ahhhh relief, my lap has been abandoned for bird watching. I now have feeling in my hand again!

A Domestic Hi-jacking

If you will remember I mentioned weeks ago my list. List of things that need to get done or that I want done. I have no earthly idea when I will ever get that list completed, if ever. I had good intentions on Monday only to have my day hi-jacked. I'm sure you've been hi-jacked before, it happens all the time. Sometimes I hi-jack myself other days I am merely the beneficiary. Monday I was put off schedule by a phone call. It was important for me to touch base with this person, but 70 minutes later I realized I still needed to finish a meeting report and make supper for the family. Oh, and shower before I attended the meeting. As I heard a school bus drive by I realized it was 3 o'clock! Yikes! It was like 1 o'clock when I got started. Time for high gear and I could forget about anything on that list. So the next day I tried again and I'm happy to say I was able to check off three of the tasks on the list. If only the chore list would end. Some of them are caught in a perpetual loop; sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, laundry, etc. are never ending tasks. Over the past few months I have had a problem with getting started. That certainly didn't help. Trying to get anything done when your stuck in neutral well, it just doesn't happen. I'm glad to say that with the return of sunshine, I have also found some get up and go. Which reminds me I better go take the sign off the door that says, "Distractions Welcome!"

OWN - Oprah Winfrey Network

So have you watched anything on the new OWN? I catch a few things here and there. I like the Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes. It's sometimes more interesting than the actual televised Oprah show. It allows you to see her as a boss and a person. I particularly like watching her staff. They are just ordinary people that work hard and are very good at their jobs. One staffer was moved to tears by being able to be part of the interview with Bush 41 and 43. Another was gushing over how handsome she though W is. I taped last night Our America with Lisa Ling. It was about Faith Healers. She did a great job of covering this topic. I found myself caught up in it because of her reaction. She was able to inform without ridicule, investigate without prejudice. I enjoyed it. It makes me want to tape another episode.

We had a good weekend. Steven had a scout hike and Devin and I took advantage of the time alone to go, do, and just hang out together. I know he's old enough to let us do this anyway, but less guilt in knowing we didn't leave him home. We took in a Home show, Boat show, appetizers at one of our favorite places Bonefish Grille, and we planned on catching some live music at a local coffee house. The artist we went to hear wasn't playing so, we grabbed a drink at the local hangout. It was nice for us to just take time to be together. We feel it is really important to take this time to stay connected as we see an empty nest in out not too distant future.

Grief Do's and Don'ts Part 3

The past two days we've looked at some of the Grief Don'ts and Do's. I posted these not only for myself but there are a lot of people out there who are grieving. A loss of a loved one can be defined in many ways and is not always about a death. Loss can include a divorce, a significant change in a loved one's health, miscarriage, etc. It is not our job to define what someone should be grieving about. Grief is also about more than the actual loss of your loved one. There are secondary losses as well.

As difficult as this is...

Losing Kristen was more than just losing a daughter. Below is a list of what I consider secondary losses. I don't just mourn losing her, I mourn for these also.

My secondary losses:
-best friend
-companion
-entertainer
-source of laughter
-confidant
-cuddler
-shoulder to cry on
-shopping buddy
-style consultant
-fighting partner
-my identity
-my "job" as caregiver
-relationships
-family
*I'm sure there are others that I haven't realized yet*

also I mourn those things that I anticipated:
-her college graduation
-seeing her get married
-seeing her become a mom
-holding her children

I know those are hard to read. They are just as difficult to write.

I also want to include some of my own personal do's and don'ts:
-Do continue to reach out. E-mail, text, or snail mail. Calling isn't always the best way to go, there are times when I just don't want to talk to anyone.
-Don't be hurt or angry if I don't respond or if I avoid contact. This is not personal. Sometimes it takes more energy than I can muster to be social. I can and do reach out when I need to or when I feel able.
-Don't expect me to be the way I was when we do get together. I'm going through a time of transition. Personally I often find it hard to focus and God forbid you give me any real responsibility.
-Do be patient with me. This is a process and I am walking it one day at a time.

My expectations for myself have had to compromise. I don't get things done the way I used to. I have to say it's okay on days when I have no energy or no motivation. Some days I'm able to get a lot done, I take full advantage of those. My brain is not always functioning at 100%. Some days I literally feel brain dead.

Positives. I am able to get out of bed each day. I am adding more exercise to my week. I'm spending quality time with my guys. Enjoying them after all the time we've been forced to be apart. Re-evaluating who I want to be, what I want to do going forward. Working on tasks that have be thrust to the side the past couple of years. I make lots of lists. I'm only making small inroads on them but lots of lists. I'm enjoying tootling on the flute. My neighbor had two so she's loaned me one. It's a challenge for me to relearn how to play. I also have found a support group that I love.

As I learn more and understand more about my own Journey from Mourning to Joy I will continue to share with you. I realized the other day that I asked God to be glorified through Kristen's illness and maybe it was time for me to ask for Him to be glorified through my grief. I visited Kristen's grave on Valentine's Day and took her flowers and talked about stuff. As I left I like to think she was speaking to me through the radio. A Jeremy Camp song came on, "There Will Be a Day". If you know his story you know he experienced the loss of his young wife in 2001 from Ovarian cancer. His early songs reflect the pain of her illness and loss. I'll leave you with the words of this song.

There Will Be A Day Lyrics

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day

Grief Do's and Don'ts Part 2

Yesterday I posted the Don'ts of how to deal with someone who is grieving. Today lets look at some Do's.

Do's
-Do let your genuine concern and caring show.
-Do be available and listen. Do express sympathy about what happened to their loved one and about their pain.
-Do allow them to express as much grief as they are feeling at the moment and are willing to share.
-Do encourage them to be patient with themselves, not to expect too much of themselves and not to impose any "should's" on themselves.
-Do allow them to talk about the loved one they have lost.
-Do reassure them that they did everything they could, that the medical care their loved one received was the best or whatever else is true and positive about the care given their loved one.

Once again these come from members of the health care community that deal with those affected by loss.

Tomorrow: Grief Do's and Don'ts Part 3

Grief Do's and Don'ts Part 1

When I originally started this blog, I wanted to separate my personal issues from everything else. This just isn't me. I tend to be an open book and to deny such a significant part of my life just isn't being truthful. It's like pretending. I think that's why I don't blog like I used to. It takes a lot of energy to pretend to be okay. There are parts of me that are okay but there is still a gaping hole. It will always be there but at some point it won't be so raw. I've realized by attending my support group, that our society doesn't seem to allow for grief. If you work, you get a few days off and then you are expected back at work. Your friends and family give you a period of time to grieve but they most likely have expectations that you will get back to "normal". Let me stop you right there. At some point you will reach a new "normal" but it won't be like you knew before.

A loss s changes you.

I'll repeat that. Loss changes you. Good or bad, you will never be the same.

Today I will give you the don'ts. Tomorrow the Do's and then finally my own personal feelings on some of these.

Don'ts
-Don't let your own sense of helplessness keep you from reaching out to a bereaved person.
-Don't avoid them because you are uncomfortable. Being avoided adds pain to an already painful experience
-Don't say, "I know how you feel." Even if you've lost a loved one yourself, you probably don't know how they feel.
-Don't say, "You out to be feeling better by now", or anything else that implies a judgement about their feelings.
-Don't tell them what they should feel or do. Don't change the subject when they mention their dead loved one.
-Don't avoid mentioning the loved one's name out of fear of reminding them of their pain. they have not forgotten it!
-Don't try to find something positive about the death (a moral lesson, closer family ties, etc.)
-Don't point out that at least they have their other family members. People are not interchangeable; they cannot replace each other.
-Don't make any comments that in any way suggest that the care given their loved one at home, in the emergency room, hospital or anywhere else was inadequate. They are already plagued by feelings of doubt and guilt without help from anyone else.
-Don't say they can always have another child/spouse. Even if they wanted to and could, another child/spouse would not replace the one they have lost.
-Don't suggest that they should be grateful for their other family members. Grief over the loss of one does not discount love and appreciation for those living.

The above list comes from members of the healthcare community.

Tomorrow: Grief Do's and Don'ts Part 2

Beating My Self Up

I don't know about you but I'm my own worst enemy. No one can beat me up as much as I beat myself up. I didn't realize until recently that my standards for myself are close to unattainable. So when I don't measure up to my own yardstick, well, I beat myself with it.

I recently visited with someone who told me to quit beating myself up. I was taken aback. How did this person realize that I do that? What did I do or say to let them in on my dirty little secret? What was it about me that gave it away? After my initial shock wore off, I realized that I was relieved that someone else saw this. I was relieved to have it out in the open. Having this bad habit laid out so bluntly before me allowed me to actually think on it. It began to dawn on me that a lot of the "issues" I have all stem from this impossible standard I have set for myself. Now don't get me wrong, we need a standards and goals, but it is how we react when we don't quite meet our own expectations that we need to adjust. We will not always hit the mark. Sometimes we will fall short. It is okay. It is normal. It is human. Instead of beating yourself for not getting there on the first try ... try again. Reach again for that goal. Do it over and over until you get there. Allow yourself to be imperfect.

I'm as guilty of holding others to impossible standards. I set these unspoken expectations. Then I'm angry or sad that they don't meet them. I think I need to start practicing tolerance. For myself, and for others. I need to speak up about my own needs from others. My own needs from myself. But, I need to allow room for disappointment at times. I need to allow a bigger margin for error.

Do you see what I mean? Can you identify? The only person in my life that can possibly meet all my expectations and needs is God. He is the only perfect in my life. When I stumble, when I'm angry or sad with someone else, I need to turn to the only one who could possibly meet these impossible standards.

Happy Valentines Day

I know sometimes I disappoint you all that I don't write as much as I used to. That's just how it is. Sometimes my mind is a big blank.

The quote I found for today is so true. (See Quote for the Day) It takes more than love to make a marriage work. It really is looking in the same direction. Several years ago one of those surveys went around that asked questions like: Where would you like to retire? I remember being happily surprised to find that many of my answers matched Devin's. We are totally different people and yet we see a future with similar dreams and desires. Isn't that awesome? We work together in our own unique ways to achieve the same goals. So this Valentine's Day I pray that you and your special Valentine enjoy the same tableau.

Entertaining Myself on Snow Day

I'm a goof ball. I'm not afraid to admit it. I like being silly. I especially like being silly when it drives my children crazy. Today I entertained myself by singing made up songs to Steven. When I had him torn between laughing and trying to strangle me, I switched to show tunes. So much fun. Oh and when he was about to dive over the edge I added some Broadway dance moves. The joy of seeing him look at me like I'd lost my mind. Then we switched to Kristen's baby talk. He told me to stop but I said why? He said, "I don't yike it." Me, "You no yike it?" So...I got to dance around and sing, "He no yike it, he think momma crazy!" He tore up the stairs to get away from me. Oh the joy of the moment. I'll have to figure out how to torture him later. Let's just say this is how I entertain myself on snow days.

Steven was actually my second source of entertainment today. First was Claire. She was fascinated by the snow. It is still snowing but we've received somewhere around 18 inches of snow. Record snowfall for Arkansas. I opened the back door for Claire and she just sat there looking at the drift that managed to not fall inside. Then she started licking at the snow. When I made her move so I could shut the door she hissed at me. I guess she wasn't done. I then let her out onto the side porch. Snow had not really accumulated there but she had a good time walking around checking it out. Lulu just looked out at her with a "Girl you crazy it's cold out there" sneer. Claire didn't stay on the porch long. I guess the cold finally got through all her fur and chub insulation!

Below are some of my snow day pictures. Also if you get a chance go read Pioneer Woman today. I thought I'd die laughing at her description of a hay hauler. Can't say I could tell you what hydraulics where either. I just know they exist!

When it's just not funny

I do believe laughter is the best medicine but sometimes the laughter is just not there. I wasn't sure if I'd share this but I realize it's important to show vulnerability as well as strength.

I had a major melt down this weekend. It was not pleasant and it was awful for Devin and Steven to watch it happen. I know better but sometimes you can feel the wreck coming on and you just can't find the emergency brake. The evening started normally. I was exhausted and I had a Bellini martini and another and then one or two more. Not sure at this point. Anyway, enough to let all hell break loose and grief that I've had bottled up spilled out, soaking my household and onto my sister. At one point Devin yelled at me. I was a little hurt but I realize that was what it took to shake me out of it.

Now let me tell you how God worked through this for me. Out of the blue yesterday our pastor called about a grief share class that is starting tonight. It sounds like exactly the thing that I need. This is a biblical based group that meets for 11-13 weeks. If you are in need of such a group, google Grief Share and find a group meeting in your area.

In the mean time sign me off today as looking for laughter.

Do You Count Your Blessings?

I am married to the most wonderful of men. Don't get me wrong we have our moments, but the good far outweighs the bad. I say this because it's the little things that make this man special. Let's start with last night. We've moved our tv and mounted it on the wall, it's hard for me to see it over Devin so I asked to switch sides. No problem. Now last night we noticed that once again the snow got high enough to cover the flashing, it melts and leaks into our closet. This morning I woke to Devin completely outfitted to go up to the roof and take care of this problem. I know it was annoying. I know he hated it. I know he had things that he'd rather be doing. In fact, we did have obligations for later today. But he did what he had to do as the head of our family. He is tireless or seems to be sometimes and much more than I deserve. It embarrasses him when I praise him but, I'm just thankful for such a wonderful man. I'm thankful for his love and for everything he does for us. I am blessed that the Lord brought us together. Thank you God for this wonderful blessing!

No More Snow until July!

What is up with this weather? It is insane. On facebook was a picture of a sign outside a local church, "Whoever is Praying for Snow Please Stop!". Snow is so beautiful coming down, but in an area like NW Arkansas where the world comes to a halt, it just gets old. If only people would learn how to drive in it. Devin took Steven out to get some snow/ice driving practice. I've been toiling around in Steven's jeep and it drives like a dream in this weather. When I was younger I think I was too naive to realize how dangerous the weather can be. One year they let us out of school early and I headed back out to the farm. I didn't know that it was so bad that I should have waited for or met my mom at work for the drive home. I had a little Oldsmobile Starfire Firenza stick shift. I just kept it in low gear and plodded my way through the heavy snow the 6 miles out to the farm. I didn't have a bit of trouble. Several years later this crazy mom and daughter team traveled through a blizzard from Manhattan to Kansas City for Christmas. We were practically the only car on the road. Once again my naivete was in my favor. I kept it slow and we got to our destination on the Plaza and had a great Christmas camped out at the Raphael hitting the after Christmas sales. Remember the great boots you got mom? Do you still have them? I hope not they are 20 years old and they need to retire!

That's Why Some Species Eat Their Young

Day after day school is cancelled. It's really not bothering me that bad but I remember when it did. Back in the late nineties, we lived in Bartlesville, OK. We wouldn't have a lot of bad snow storms then but when we did...Devin would be gone. Two years in a row he went off on his "Polar Bear" excursion leaving me alone with two active kiddo's. We would have the worst snowstorms of the year. I remember one year I lit the fireplace and the kids and I camped down in the living room listening to the Bradford Pears cracking and breaking from the heavy, wet snow. It didn't take long for me to put my foot down and say he needed to pick a different time of the year for his guy get away. When we lived in South Dakota we had lots of snow but few snow days. The snow had to be blowing so hard that you couldn't see to drive before they would shut down school there. You were also expected to send appropriate snow gear so your kid could go out at recess.

A snow day every now and then is enjoyable but day after day is wearing on a parent. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like if the electricity was out too! The irony of these snow days is that everyone is out running around. We can get out to play but get to school? No, too dangerous! Of course, I'm all citified now and forget of all those that live out in the hills.

I'll leave you with something I found funny. When talking to my friend over in Tulsa she mentioned that one of the news anchors said that we needed to "hunker down". Ha Ha! I haven't heard that phrase in forever! Then when I was watching the national news the next day the weather anchor mentioned that we all needed to "hunker down". So that's it for me. I'm going to go "hunker down" for the night. Get my comfy cozies on and become the cat bed for the rest of the evening!

Cooking In the House

It's cold outside and I've been cooking. Steven is as happy as a clam. Yesterday he got Stromboli and a crock pot version of Cheesy Chicken, Broccoli and Rice. Today I made Butternut Squash Bisque. I thought I'd share the recipes with you. Actually they are based on recipes but I am the queen of the recipe ad lib.

Stromboli (my version):

Pillsbury thin crust pizza dough (or make your own)
regular sausage
turkey pepperoni (don't tell on me!)
fresh mozzarella
spinach
seasonings

Unroll dough on prepared baking sheet. I use a baking stone so no prep for me. Brown sausage, add chopped pepperoni, add Italian seasoning, onion powder, red pepper flakes. Chop spinach. Now I boo booed and didn't precook the spinach so the bottom got a little soggy after I cut into the crusty bread. If I made it again I would microwave the spinach first and drain. Lay 1/2 sliced mozzarella down the middle of the dough, add spinach, meat mixture and the rest of the mozzarella. Fold over the sides to overlap and pinch closed. I use a fork to make sure the ends seal well. Bake 400 for 20 minutes.

This is certainly not a traditional Stromboli but it is yummy and you can add or take away ingredients as you prefer!

Cheesy Chicken, Broccoli and Rice (crock pot version)

4 chicken breasts
3 cups chicken broth (I actually had some homemade!)
8 oz frozen broccoli
1 can cream of chicken soup
minute rice or minute brown rice
1 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar

Place chicken breasts in crock pot with broth. Cook on high 2-3 hours. When cooked through remove chicken and drain and reserve broth. Chop or shred chicken and return to crock pot. Add cream of chicken soup, frozen broccoli, cheese, and equal parts broth and rice. Cover and let cook another 30 minutes to 1 hour on low (longer if not using a quick cooking rice). I had to add a little more broth because I didn't measure I just dumped it all in!

The guys pronounced this version tons better than the oven variety. It had a creamy risotto texture.

Finally...

Butternut Squash Bisque

Butternut Squash
1 stick butter (1/2 cup)
2 onions
2-3 carrots
3 cups chicken broth
3 cups water
1 TBSP white pepper
1 TBSP ground nutmeg
Cream

Pierce squash and place on baking sheet in a 350 degree oven. Bake 1 hour and allow time to cool. While squash is cooling, rough chop onions and carrots. Melt butter in stock pot adding onions and carrots. Cook over medium heat allowing the onions to become clear. DO NOT BROWN. While these are cooking peel and chop the squash, discarding skin and seeds. Add to the onion mixture along with broth and water. Bring to a boil and then simmer for one hour or longer. Add seasoning and puree. Add cream or half n half to taste. Delicious!

WNTW - Dallas Style

I am an avid follower of the show What Not To Wear. I truly enjoy Stacy and Clinton. It's one of those shows that I DVR. I couldn't ever watch it in real time. Last night, they had a 29 year old flight attendant who dressed like a cartoon character. Okay cartoon character is rather harsh, but she had issues that went far beyond a mere makeover. They worked their magic on her but she never "got it". She never realized why her old look was so off putting to the type of people she would want to attract. Her old look was that of a blond bimbo (aka Holly Madison former Hugh Hefner girlfriend from The Girls Next Door). They gave her a "make under" but at the end she mentioned how she'd slowly go back to the old look. WHAT?! WHAT?! You have got to be kidding me. She would choose to hide behind a character rather than be her gorgeous self. And she was gorgeous. I thought I'd croak when they had her in one outfit that made her look HOT and she said she felt like a grandma in it. I don't know what grandma's she knows but let me tell you if she ran into one that looked that good in an outfit like she had on ... Well go for it grandma!

Speaking of which...

I haven't reported on my weekend in Dallas. I had a mini what not to wear with my girl Susan. My sweet guy texted us on Friday and told her to take me shopping for a new wardrobe. No budget. Seriously no budget. WooHoo! Maybe he knows me too well though. I have an inner budget that I have trouble going over. It's like a mental brake on the ole credit card. Sigh. We had a great time driving around in the gorgeous sunny Dallas day with the top down on her convertible. First stop was Stein Mart. They seriously let us take probably a hundred articles of clothing into the dressing room and we dove in. I would try on and not look in the mirror unless I got approval on the item. We walked out of there with two bags full of clothes. Awesome. And only a small dent in the budget. We were off to Ann Taylor, Soma, and Gap where we managed to complete the wardrobe. I spent only about 1/3 of my mental budget. Pretty good? EVERYTHING was on sale! So I know you want to know what I got.
I got: 3 pairs of pants, over 20 tops, 2 jackets, 3 sweaters, and 2 pairs of shoes.
Now I have to go through the drawers and closet and purge those items that are not okay. You know, bring something in, something must go. It is totally worth it!

Snow Day Again, LOL!

Can you believe this weather? Saturday I was in Dallas, riding around in a convertible with the top down. Today, half the country has snow and school closings! According to the weather, 9 states are affected, and over 2100 miles of the U.S. has ice and snow! Unbelievable!

What I like about Snow Days. Sleeping in. Seeing the gorgeous snow. Did I mention sleeping in?

What I hate about Snow Days. The school district does not build in enough snow days so we go later and later into June! Cold. Ice.

Snow days aren't what they used to be when I was a kid. Sigh! No excuse to not getting stuff done around the house. Lord knows I'm not going anywhere!