Beating My Self Up

I don't know about you but I'm my own worst enemy. No one can beat me up as much as I beat myself up. I didn't realize until recently that my standards for myself are close to unattainable. So when I don't measure up to my own yardstick, well, I beat myself with it.

I recently visited with someone who told me to quit beating myself up. I was taken aback. How did this person realize that I do that? What did I do or say to let them in on my dirty little secret? What was it about me that gave it away? After my initial shock wore off, I realized that I was relieved that someone else saw this. I was relieved to have it out in the open. Having this bad habit laid out so bluntly before me allowed me to actually think on it. It began to dawn on me that a lot of the "issues" I have all stem from this impossible standard I have set for myself. Now don't get me wrong, we need a standards and goals, but it is how we react when we don't quite meet our own expectations that we need to adjust. We will not always hit the mark. Sometimes we will fall short. It is okay. It is normal. It is human. Instead of beating yourself for not getting there on the first try ... try again. Reach again for that goal. Do it over and over until you get there. Allow yourself to be imperfect.

I'm as guilty of holding others to impossible standards. I set these unspoken expectations. Then I'm angry or sad that they don't meet them. I think I need to start practicing tolerance. For myself, and for others. I need to speak up about my own needs from others. My own needs from myself. But, I need to allow room for disappointment at times. I need to allow a bigger margin for error.

Do you see what I mean? Can you identify? The only person in my life that can possibly meet all my expectations and needs is God. He is the only perfect in my life. When I stumble, when I'm angry or sad with someone else, I need to turn to the only one who could possibly meet these impossible standards.